Monday, December 31, 2012

A Moving Experience

For about the past ten days we've been moving from the apartment where we've resided these last seven years into a house, owned by some friends who moved to Texas. This all came about fairly suddenly, and while I was sorry to spend most if the badly needed time off I had in between semesters moving, I thought, it will be good--a fresh start, a clean slate.

At first, things were going well. We were making good progress, but then, after three days of moving truckloads of heavy stuff, mattresses, etc., we could hardly move and had to take a day off to rest, as well as get some stuff arranged and out of the way. We were both exhausted and put off going back the apartment a little. Sunday we were there working hard, because we are supposed to be out by December 31, and I was feeling tired, but like we almost had the downstairs under control. I went upstairs for something and took a look in the "craft" room and my room, and I was appalled at the amount of stuff left. I started crying and asked myself, why is there so much stuff?!

In the last year got hooked watching the show Hoarders and I recognized some behaviors. Now, I've always lived in a messy house, and my grandparents have a farm jam packed with stuff, so I come by it naturally, and I thought to myself, Katie, this is where you will be some day if you do not do something now. Standing there last night, looking at the stuff all around me, I had the realization that someday is here. I am not going to be.a hoarder, I AM a hoarder.

Somewhere along the way, perhaps food wasn't cutting it anymore, so I started collecting stuff. I didn't have the people in my life I wanted, so anything that was connected to a memory, thrown in a box. Or some things, well, I've gone without.a lot of stuff being poor, so I deserve this. Then, it just sits in a bag somewhere until I've forgotten it ever existed.

I am a sick person.

As disgusted as I am with myself, I am vowing, here and now, that this is going to stop and I am going to get a handle on things before I end up the crazy cat lady on some TV show.

So, this move has been one pain in the A$$, I'm not sure if my back or knee will ever be the same, and all my "relaxation time" is gone, but it has been a real eye opener, and I am hoping, a turning point.

And what perfect timing, right on New Year's Eve!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

It Feels So Good!

Well, I've come to learn that my family has many issues...vices...addictions, call them what you want. Alcoholism, drug addiction, food addiction, hoarding, they all run in my family. After watching the show Hoarders I was horrified to identify some of the same tendencies/attitudes not only in my family, but in myself.

There is crap everywhere!

I'm ashamed to admit that we have stuff piled everywhere, and I have become increasingly tired of it. I've lived in a messy, disorganized home as long as I can remember, but I've never liked it. I wanted to so something, but the task seemed so overwhelming. As I've been talking to my counselor, she advised that I start small. She said that I was experiencing chaos at work, and them when I got home it was chaos and that probably added to my stress level. Definitely!

A clean slate...

Some friends of ours moved and so mom and I are going to rent their house and get out of our apartment. At first I was disgruntled that the time I had taken off for the holiday in order to relax, recharge, and do some things just for me would now be taken up by moving, but I am beginning to see this as a clean slate. The can start fresh by getting rid of stuff we don't need or have room for and by getting organized from the start. Also, there is no better time to start making new habits.


  • No eating dinner in front of the TV.
  • No leaving stuff lying around in bags.
  • Go through the mail every week.


There's a lot to be done and not much time to do it, but today I spent many hours going through papers and old mail, throwing stuff out, getting some ready to shred, saving what was needed. It was a laborious project, but man did it feel good!

Lord help me, this time I will not let stuff take control of my life!!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Saga of Agent Double Gnome Seven: Road Trip Part 2

Subjects have stopped in Kansas to meet a contact.  Going to catch a few winks before continuing surveillance...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

At The End Of The Tunnel.

Very faint, but growing brighter... look, a light.

So, after a very rough, challenging, and horribly stressful seven months, which I was certain would kill me, things are starting to look up.  My new boss started yesterday.  My next higher up boss has him so busy that I've barely seen him, but he is an official employee.  And while he doesn't know much yet, the responsibility has lifted from my poor, beaten down body as if and elephant had been sitting on me and finally stood up.  From now on, I can say "you deal with this."  Don't get me wrong, it's not that I minded making the decisions, (it was actually kind of liberating at times) but it was having to be responsible for every single action, decision, process, etc.

The big challenge for me is not going to be getting along with the new boss, not training him... no, it will be letting go of hard feelings from being treated so poorly.  It's not fair, but I am a bigger person than that.  I won't let them break me.

Here's hoping for warm sunny days ahead!  (And not so much time between posts! YIKES!)


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