This makes me happy. :)
Monday, February 6, 2012
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Trauma on the way to Ames.
There was supposed to be bad weather moving in last night and throughout today, but mom and I decided to chance it and go to Ames anyway. It's only a thirty minute drive and it would be easy enough to turn around if needed. We needed to get some fabric for a couple projects and since mom works everyday this weekend, this was kind of our one shot.
The roads looked like they could freeze at anytime if the temperature took a fall, but they were ok, a little wet, not really slick. We hadn't made it halfway yet when on the other side we saw a big ol' pick 'em up truck slow down and drive around something. We looked and realized that a dog was laying in the road. We watched a little and he wasn't getting up. Our hearts sank . . . we knew he must have been hit. We had to go a little ways before we could turn around, but we knew we had to. By the time we got turned around and got back to where the dog was, we saw another car pulled over. Three guys, about my age, had puled over, and just as we got there, one tried to grab the dog to pull it out of the road, but it bit him. You can't blame the dog, he was hurt and scared!
We soon discovered another car had pulled in the driveway of the house and they, as we found out, had been afraid to get out because of the other dog, who was obviously a little excited about the goings on. They had honked their horn, but to no avail . . . no one was home. Mom went to the door, the other dog was noisy, but he wasn't going to attack. No answer.
Meanwhile the young men had called the authorities. Numerous people drove by, most slowed down, but some didn't, even though there were two cars pulled over and five people waving at them.
JERKS!
Watching that poor dog struggle, listening to it cry . . . it was awful. If I'd have eaten soon before, it wouldn't have stayed in my stomach. He had one leg that seemed ok, and he kept trying to get up, to scootch out of the way, he just couldn't. His front right leg just kind of flopped. The look in his eyes . . .
Two guys came running over from the field across the highway and the one guy was going to try to approach the dog, but the other guys warned him that he might get bitten. I don't know if the dog recognized him, or what, but you should have heard it howl as he drew nearer. At this point I see some foam around it's mouth . . . it was getting so worked up, and I'm sure exhausted.
I had seen that the guys in the black car had a blanket, and I said to mom that maybe if we could put something over it's head we could pull it out of the road. The man from the field had the same idea and came running back with his coat. He put it over the dog and dragged it to the shoulder. The three guys got the blanket out of their trunk and they put the dog on the blanket. They man from the field turned out to be a neighbor and he said he'd called the owner. They carried the dog in the blanket over to a workshop type of building. There was nothing more that we could do, so we got in our car and headed to Ames.
I.felt.sick!
WHO could hit an animal, or anything, and leave there to die? What kind of sick people are there out driving about? And what kind of people would just drive by and not even call the authorities, at least??? It is these kinds of things that cause me to despair. Whoever the miserable, low-life, sad excuse for a person is who hit this poor, defenseless animal and just left it, YOU DISGUST ME!
Thank God that seven, seven people, out of how many that drove by, stopped to render assistance to a poor, hurt, scared to death, helpless animal . . . someone's best friend. Seven people. God bless you, whoever the other five people were. Your efforts are proof of your character and your decency as human beings! To the people who owned the dog, my heart and deepest sympathy go out to you! I'm greatly sorry for what has happened to your friend and companion. May he rest in peace and suffer no longer.
The roads looked like they could freeze at anytime if the temperature took a fall, but they were ok, a little wet, not really slick. We hadn't made it halfway yet when on the other side we saw a big ol' pick 'em up truck slow down and drive around something. We looked and realized that a dog was laying in the road. We watched a little and he wasn't getting up. Our hearts sank . . . we knew he must have been hit. We had to go a little ways before we could turn around, but we knew we had to. By the time we got turned around and got back to where the dog was, we saw another car pulled over. Three guys, about my age, had puled over, and just as we got there, one tried to grab the dog to pull it out of the road, but it bit him. You can't blame the dog, he was hurt and scared!
We soon discovered another car had pulled in the driveway of the house and they, as we found out, had been afraid to get out because of the other dog, who was obviously a little excited about the goings on. They had honked their horn, but to no avail . . . no one was home. Mom went to the door, the other dog was noisy, but he wasn't going to attack. No answer.
Meanwhile the young men had called the authorities. Numerous people drove by, most slowed down, but some didn't, even though there were two cars pulled over and five people waving at them.
JERKS!
Watching that poor dog struggle, listening to it cry . . . it was awful. If I'd have eaten soon before, it wouldn't have stayed in my stomach. He had one leg that seemed ok, and he kept trying to get up, to scootch out of the way, he just couldn't. His front right leg just kind of flopped. The look in his eyes . . .
Two guys came running over from the field across the highway and the one guy was going to try to approach the dog, but the other guys warned him that he might get bitten. I don't know if the dog recognized him, or what, but you should have heard it howl as he drew nearer. At this point I see some foam around it's mouth . . . it was getting so worked up, and I'm sure exhausted.
I had seen that the guys in the black car had a blanket, and I said to mom that maybe if we could put something over it's head we could pull it out of the road. The man from the field had the same idea and came running back with his coat. He put it over the dog and dragged it to the shoulder. The three guys got the blanket out of their trunk and they put the dog on the blanket. They man from the field turned out to be a neighbor and he said he'd called the owner. They carried the dog in the blanket over to a workshop type of building. There was nothing more that we could do, so we got in our car and headed to Ames.
I.felt.sick!
WHO could hit an animal, or anything, and leave there to die? What kind of sick people are there out driving about? And what kind of people would just drive by and not even call the authorities, at least??? It is these kinds of things that cause me to despair. Whoever the miserable, low-life, sad excuse for a person is who hit this poor, defenseless animal and just left it, YOU DISGUST ME!
Thank God that seven, seven people, out of how many that drove by, stopped to render assistance to a poor, hurt, scared to death, helpless animal . . . someone's best friend. Seven people. God bless you, whoever the other five people were. Your efforts are proof of your character and your decency as human beings! To the people who owned the dog, my heart and deepest sympathy go out to you! I'm greatly sorry for what has happened to your friend and companion. May he rest in peace and suffer no longer.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
I AM!
Ok, so maybe it's only been three days, but it's been three good days!
Since Monday I have maintained control, done what I'm supposed to and remained pretty positive in the process!
I CAN change...I AM changing!
Since Monday I have maintained control, done what I'm supposed to and remained pretty positive in the process!
I CAN change...I AM changing!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Emergency Exit
Sometimes I wish life, or least the situation I find myself in at that moment, had an emergency exit...
Monday, January 23, 2012
Facing my fears.
How many times have I gotten completely disgusted with myself and said that things were going to be different, or lost a bunch of weight and promised myself I would never go back? Too many. On the eve of the beginning of Live Healthy Iowa (part of Live Healthy America) as I am deciding that I AM going to do this, that I CAN change, I decided that perhaps I need to examine the reasons I have failed in the past, it's time to face my fears, or I will never change.
What am I afraid of?
How ironic that that which I crave most, relationships (friends, boyfriend, etc.) are what I have been building up walls against, protecting myself from, and being downright scared of! I want attention and affection, but what would I do if I got what I've been dreaming of? Run scared! I've spent my whole life building a fortress around myself so that people can't get close. That way I don't have to accept any responsibility, and no one can prove me wrong.
So, let's face it:
What am I afraid of?
- Failure or success?
- That people won't like me, or that they will?
- That someone could never love me, or that they could?
- That I am worthless, or priceless?
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”Could their possibly be any truth to that? Have I been hiding behind my fear of inadequacy so that I don't have to deal with the fact that I am adequate, that I am powerful beyond measure, that I CAN do whatever I put my mind to? Have I truly come to a place where it is more comfortable to live in the lies, because if I faced the truth that means I would have no more excuses? I would no longer be able to cry and blame and push responsibility off onto other people.
How ironic that that which I crave most, relationships (friends, boyfriend, etc.) are what I have been building up walls against, protecting myself from, and being downright scared of! I want attention and affection, but what would I do if I got what I've been dreaming of? Run scared! I've spent my whole life building a fortress around myself so that people can't get close. That way I don't have to accept any responsibility, and no one can prove me wrong.
So, let's face it:
- I CAN make the changes that I want to make!
- It sucks that what happened happened, but I WILL take responsibility for my life from this point on.
- IT IS GOING TO BE HARD! The road is long and bumpy.
- I WILL fall down, but I WILL get back up again, every time!
- I Will allow people to know me and to see what a great person I am, and love me.
- Being fat does NOT define who I am as a person!
I pledge to myself that I will look my fears right in the face, and while they may intimidate me, they will not overpower me! I am stronger, smarter, more talented, and more beautiful than I have ever given myself credit for, but no longer will I berate myself. I am living a new life, a life free from former shackles and full of love and positivity!
Failure, you are done here! Inadequacy, you have no place in my life! Self pity and loathing, get out!
Life...look out!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
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Curveball
I've been excitedly awaiting my gastric sleeve surgery and this weekend was a three day weekend. I was planning to get so much done. Boy...
