Tough Times

Well, this year has certainly thrown a lot my way.  Over the past twelve months I have lost a great boss and friend, carried my workplace (again), found and lost another friendship, and exhausted myself with graduate studies.  But that, it would seem, is not sufficient.

As I write this I am sitting the in the cafeteria at the University of Iowa hospital.  Yesterday, I texted my dad, just stupid stuff.  I never heard back.  Something inside me said "WARNING!"  I realized that we hadn't heard from him since Sunday.  I got in my car, drove to his house and warming bells really started ringing. The lights were off, the truck was in the garage, he wasn't answering any phones.

After about half an hour of ounding in doors and windows, mom left work early and we decided to call the police.  They took forever.  Well, 15 minutes seems like forever.  Finally, after a second officer joined the first (someone I had gone to school with), they busted in the doors and found him lying on the living room floor, five feet away from where I was knocking--his cell phone was on the desk just a foot away.

He was somewhat responsive, answering some questions but not others. We don't know for sure but we think he had been laying there since sometime Monday.  About 1 a.m. This morning they transported him here to Iowa City.  They told us they would probably do surgery in the morning, so after some debate, we decided to get a little sleep and then head here.

At 6 when mom called to find out where he was, they said he'd just come out of surgery because when he got here it was much worse than they first thought.  What we later found out is that they put two drains in his head to let the extra fluid out.

A couple years ago he found out he had a cyst in his brain that might never cause problems, but it shifted and blocked the flow of spinal fluid.  They think he's been having seizures so right now all we can do is wait.  If they can, if he seems like he is coming out of it ok, they will remove the cyst.  If not...

We continue to wait.

1-0-0!

Yahoo!  This is my 100th post!  It seems well timed, almost like an anniversary.

Ok, so random things to catch up on...

Apparently, the past five or six weeks I have had some kind of bug which has totally zapped my energy, made me have various stomach symptoms, and generally feel cruddy.  I went to the doctor and they ruled out mono, and I think that I am finally starting to feel better.

As always, I feel like I am barely keeping up at work, with my teaching and my grad classes.  But somehow everything gets done.  Now that I am doing a dual M.A. in library and information science (with archive concentration) and Russian translation, it's going to be three years before I can graduate.  I'm going to be sooooo busy, but I keep telling myself that it is only temporary.

You know that I simply hate to travel, so it will seriously surprise you that I have applied for a course this summer in Scotland.  If I get to go, I will spend two weeks at Dalkeith House just outside of Edinburgh, and we will travel north up to Inverness.  I'm not excited at all... Of course, I don't know if I'm going or not.

Just over one year ago I started on Weight Watchers, and while I am proud of myself that I have kept 50 pounds off for a year, I am a little irritated with myself that I let things level off.  But I have a new resolve and I am going to kick it up!  My goal is to lose another 43 by the time I would go to Scotland.  (That would put me at the lowest I've been since I can remember, the same that I was when I came home from Moscow a few years ago.)

Lastly, I have a very dear friend who I met as an exchange student in Belarus.  We've written to each other over the years, talked on the phone, and he even came to see me in 2001 when I was in Kiev.  He is not only my dearest friend, he is the love of my life.  For the past five years we have not heard anything from each other.  The Belarusian postal service is not exactly reliable, and I think letters got lost, etc.  I think about him all the time and always mean to write him, but rarely do.  This Christmas I said "Self, you have to send Alex a Christmas card!"  And I did.  Lo and behold, yesterday I got the mail only to see a letter from Belarus.

It was the sweetest, most excited, loveliest letter in the history of letters.  And while I am heartbroken  to be so far away from him, I can count myself lucky to have someone who truly cares about me, loves me for all of me, and truly understands me.  Even if I do feel like Anna in the King and I.

Well, I have made up my mind--I am going to spend the next year scrimping and saving, and getting much healthier (and smaller so that I can sit in an airplane for 14 hours halfway comfortably), and next summer, I am going to go see him.  Even if I have to max out my credit cards.  Whatever it takes, I simply must.

Until then, I gots a lot to do!

Me and Alex, 1998.

Kans-aaaaaaahhhh!

First road trip of the year!

I love getting away for little breaks.  I mean, I love going on big adventures, but let's face it--they are time consuming, usually expensive, and a lot of work.  Last semester I was fortunate to go to DC in September, Japan in October, Colorado in November, and Wisconsin in December.  Wow!  As awesome as that was, trying to work full time, take full time grad classes, teach a class AND travel...wasn't easy.

This weekend, for the first time since June I was able to slip away and visit my KS bestie and her utterly adorable spawn.  It's so nice to just chillax, laugh and play together.  These are the times that make life bearable.

Tomorrow it will be time to head home already...but for now, I'll enjoy some more play time.

Let Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot.

Here it is--day number 1.

Another year has come and gone, and like millions of other people I have been reflecting on the past year and the course of my life.

Two thousand and thirteen was one of the worst and one of the best years of my life.  In 2012, after six months of being the only full-time employee and running the place by myself we hired a new manager.  This past year we grew to be a really good team, and I really liked my boss and respected him.  Then, for valid reasons, he left suddenly the third day of the fall semester.  So not only had I lost a boss who I really liked, but I was again alone--thankfully, though, I had a new co-worker start who turned out to be very sharp and someone with whom I really enjoy working--and this happened four days before I started back to grad school.

Needless to say, this fall was probably the most stressful, disheartening, and awful time of my life.  My boss' departure really hit me hard, and I got behind in my classes from the very start.  I never did catch up, and I was seriously worried whether or not I would pass my classes.  Especially the Foundations class with the teacher from hell.  (I did pass, though, two A- and an A!)

I've also had some new(er) friendships which have been trying at times, but even though they have been trying, and at times added greatly to my stress level, the plus side of this year has been that I've learned a lot about myself.

1. I am nowhere near as pathetic as I thought.
After some of the people I have dealt with this year, I realized that I am not pathetic.  I have things I need to work out, but my biggest problem is just not loving myself.  Some people are in really bad places and just make one terrible decision after another.

2. I am no dumb bunny.
My brother is pretty much a genius, so I always compared myself to him and thought I was of just average intelligence, however, after working in a community college for five and a half years, I've discovered that I am pretty darn smart.

3. I won't settle for less than the best.
While I don't think in anyway that I deserve it or that it will come to me, I won't settle for any less than the best.  I dream big, and I won't go for someone, or something, that falls short.  I know a few people who go for whoever or whatever comes next, and I just can't stand that. I get mad and sad because I know that I will never meet Jeremy Renner (for example), but I'm still holding out.

4. I can't stand self-centeredness.
There is someone in my life with whom I was very close, but I have discovered that this person is very self-centered, and even though I really care about this person, I can't keep up a relationship where the other person uses me, never hears a word a say, and acts like a child most of the time.

5. Quality over quantity.
I put my heart and soul into things, which has brought me a lot of heartache, but also a lot of joy.  I would much rather have quality time with someone than simply a lot of time.  One of my dear friends who lives in Kansas is a perfect example.  I get to see her a couple times a year, and we really don't talk a whole lot, but I know she is always there when I need her and when we are reunited, it's like I saw her last week.  I love her, and I think we have come to the perfect relationship, for us.

Now, something I have learned is that I am a giver--I give, give, give, and am often disappointed when my effort is not reciprocated.  However, I have come to understand that I cannot hold everyone to my standards, they are pretty damn high after all.  I have to evaluate each relationship and decide to what level I am ok giving.  That has helped a lot, but sometimes I still wish a relationship was more than it is.

I have learned a lot of other things, too.  I am one tough cookie.  I can handle a lot, and with class. I am a leader.  I can get in there and get stuff done.  I am smart.  I have excellent judgement and discernment, and I can generally get a good feel for who people really are.  I give excellent advice.  I am worth a lot, and my employer is pretty lucky to have me.  I don't mean to brag, I never toot my own horn and I don't like the spotlight, but I say these things to help myself realize what I am, which is pretty fantabulous actually.

So, this year really beat me up, but I am trying to look at the positives.  My weight went up about ten pounds here in December (the last two weeks of the semester almost killed me...) but, through everything, through crap at work, a hellacious load at school, some rocky stuff in my personal life, I kept off 50 pounds!  I have not reverted back to old ways, but I do need to knuckle down and get back to eating as well as I was.

Goals:

So, I have just a few goals for the new year.

1. Get back on track with Weight Watchers and lose another 50 pounds so I can go skydiving.
2. Cut out as much artificial sweetener as possible.
3. Eat fast food no more than once or twice a month.
4. Continue to think and feel better about myself.


Here is to a new year, may the happy times be more than the sad ones, let us remember to live, love and laugh generously, and never let the sun go down on your anger (keep those you love close and never let the last thing you say to them be something terrible).

Fujisan: Journey Through the Clouds.

The second day in Japan was all official stuff…well, mostly.  In the morning we attended an official ceremony celebrating the first ten years of Minami Alps.  Basically we sat there and did not understand a thing and then stood up when they mentioned our cities.

After the ceremony (and watching people snooze and sit in very, er, casual manners) we had a box lunch with the other Sister City guests.  It was pretty tasty, except for a few things which I put down after a sample.

After lunch we headed off to the Ando House Museum.  This house is over 300 years old and was the house of a samurai warrior turned wealthy farmer.  (He lost a fight..)  Chiaki, my hostess came along as our interpreter.  It was really interesting and I had lots of opportunities to try out my new camera.

We stopped for coffee (or tea) at this house which was set up like a little cafe.  There was beautiful wooden furniture inside, and dolls which the lady made herself.  She served us coffee and cake, which was absolutely delicious.

That evening we had the official reception where we exchanged gifts and partied down with the Mayor and other official peoples.  (Photos to come, they are on a disk and my laptop does not have a disk drive.

The next day, I felt like Bilbo...I went up the mountain.  There were clouds and it was amazing to watch how fast the weather rolled in.

The first view of the mountain.

Map at the Welcome Center.

At the 5th Step.  As high as you can drive.

Looks like Heaven.

The last day my hostess Chiaki took me into Tokyo and we went to the National Museum.

Chiaki and Isao's house.

Tokyo

I'm Going to Japan, I think I'm going to Japan, I Really Think So!

So, for the last couple years I've been involved with our Sister Cities Association.  This year I happen to be president, and we got an invitation for representatives from Marshalltown to come and participate in a 10th Anniversary celebration, so I got to Minami Alps.  (Warning, there are lots of photos ahead!)

Setting out, I had several delays and was relieved not to miss any flights.  There were storms in Denver and then in Tokyo there was a Typhoon.  :(  Most of the days were cloudy, but pleasant.

On the first day, we went to a winery Budo No Oka and sampled the local wines.  You may not think of Japan when it comes to wine, but Yamanashi district is well known for wine.

We were given these souvenir cups and told we could sample all the wine we wanted.

They grow grapes hanging on structures.

Most of the wine was too dry for my taste, but there were lots of unique flavors.  I did buy a couple bottles of wine and some yogurt covered raisins.  Yum!

Next we had lunch at a hotel--it was buffet style and the room was really fancy.  This was my first opportunity to try much Japanese food and I really enjoyed.  Most of it anyway.

Then we drove up into the mountains to Shosenkyo Gorge and had a nice little hike down the river.  (I took TONS of photos, but I will only subject you to a few.)

As we were headed back to Minami Alps, we went through Kofu City which is the capital of the Prefecture.  We stopped at a Takeda Shrine and looked around.

The ancient deity Hello Kitty...

A very full, but interesting first day!