Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Jerk Face

I'm feeling like a real jerk today.

My mom has been wanting to move to Wisconsin near where my Uncle lives for the past couple years.  This affects me because I live with her.  I have not been able to afford living on my own and I've enjoyed living with her, but I have longed for some independence the last year or so.  After a period of not really hearing much about Wisconsin, she brought it up again last week, so finally I told her (on Mother's Day), straight out, that I don't want to move right now.

When she first talked about it a couple years ago, I was indifferent.  I like the Madison area, I love going up to visit, and at that point I didn't have much to keep me in Iowa.  At one point, early on, she got me so excited about moving that I applied for several jobs, but never got any responses.  My interest cooled off when I could not get a job after a year of trying, and then, last year, as my job swirled around the crapper for several months, I would have taken a job scrubbing toilets to get out of here!

While last year was one of the worst years of my life, being thrown under the bus by my employer, but being accused of throwing my employer under the bus, doing the job of three people by myself, for months, for no extra pay or even a thank you (but instead being told I was being negative), there were also some good things to come out of the year, such as my new boss.

Yes, I couldn't ask for a better boss.  He is extremely sarcastic and we kinda bicker back and forth, but we get a long really well and understand where one another are coming from.  It is so awesome to have someone who not only trusts me to do my job, but who supports me, stands up for me, and wants to help me better myself.  I actually like my job again.  Now, that doesn't mean that I want to stay there forever.  My position is pretty much a dead end position, but for the time being I am comfortable.  I have a stable job, good insurance, lots of stored up vacation time, and colleagues whom I adore.

Which brings me to another reason: Meghan.  I have become good friends with Meghan, whose office is down the hall, and who teaches music at the college.  We get along really really well, and we both have some issues, so half the time we end up giving one another the exact same advice.  We get together frequently for movie nights, lunch, etc. (something many times involving wine and girl talk) and I really think we need each other.  She has been a great support for me in losing weight, and I hope I've been a support for her, and for her daughter.  I love them both!

One last, and pretty big reason to stay is that I am applying to a dual MA program in Library and Information Science and Translation at the University of Wisconsin--Milwaukee and the college will give me money towards my classes.

So, I think mom and I have gotten over the initial shock of things, although yesterday I felt like a right jerk, but last night we planted cucumbers together and things seem to be ok.

For once I feel somewhat confident in my plans and like my life is actually going somewhere.

P.S. I am sitting outside on the porch with my new laptop writing this in 93º weather.  Just a little over a week ago we had a snowstorm with some of the worst road conditions all winter.


  1. Don't feel bad about living your life, yo. It's perfectly natural for kids to leave the "nest" and it's also perfectly natural for it to be painful for the momma :)

    Meghan sounds awesome! I hope I can meet her sometime :)

    1. I'm trying not to feel bad. I've pretty much gotten over it... pretty much.

      Meghan is awesome, and her folks like in KC!! We've talked about taking a trip down thatta way so we should try to work something out sometime! The three of us together...watch out!!!



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