Monday, April 14, 2014

Hopeless, alright...

Oh.My.God.

Well, dad is on the road to recovery and doing pretty well.  He needs to do what he's supposed to... :-\ but I think for the most part he is.

As I was trying to get back into my classes I was just so exhausted and slowly I'm realizing that I can't write four papers, keep up on weekly discussions and materials, work, teach, keep track of dad and his bills.  Thankfully, my teachers this semester have been totally awesome and have agree to give me incomplete grades so that I can take care of dad and then finish my work in a more calm fashion.  As my friend would say "Praise Jeebus!"

So now, after the shock and fear of the situation have subsided, as I complained about in my last post, I've been wallowing (only slightly) in self-pity thinking "why don't I get to come home to someone," "why don't I get to have someone who is there to kiss the tears away?"  (And of course this is all further fueled by a letter from an old, very dear friend.)  And being the extremely intelligent person that I am, I proceed to read The Bridges of Madison County, which I highly recommend, and then watch The Reader (which I read in college in the original German)--two singularly poignant stories of true love which could never be.  (I'm a real sucker for those kinds of stories.)

Stupid!

It's like how you listen to depressing music when you feel depressed...

So, last night I was feeling all forlorn and had myself convinced, practically martyred myself, saying "I will never find someone, I am just one of those people who will never have love, who will always be alone."  Today I am in a slight funk, though part of it may be the fact that Saturday was 80 degrees and today I woke up to snow.

On the lighter side, I have been having a blast sending and receiving postcards with Postcrossing.

So, I'll try not to depress myself any further... :)

Romantic, yes...hopeless, definitely.




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