Saturday, June 2, 2012

Second Place...I DO!

Isn't it funny how our ideas, ideals, thoughts, dreams and plans evolve as we age?

Case in point:

When I was a teenager, desperate to belong to someone and to be loved, I had it all planned out.  (I'm certain that most of us little girls do.)  I would be married and starting a family by the time I was twenty-five.  This person would be my entire world, we would be extremely happy, and of course, all my issues would be solved because someone could finally love me, even the way I was.  (For those of you who don't know how I was, or thought I was, that was fat, ugly, worthless and unloveable.)  I know, quite a feat for anyone, especially since I was doing my best to be absolutely certain that I was completely unlovable, although it took me till a few years ago to realize I was doing so.  I mean, I didn't want to be incapable, like I couldn't do anything on my own, but I basically wanted someone to be my life.

Older and a little, very little, wiser my plans seemed to have shifted a slightly.

Recently, I was reading some articles and checking out websites having to do with the Avengers movie and its stars, and I came across an article about Jeremy Renner which talked about how he found dating to be difficult since he couldn't find a woman who wanted to be second chair to his career.  My first reaction was, well duh!, but I began to think about it.  At this point in my life, nearly thirty-one years old, still single, never dated, still screwed up in the head, what do I really want from a relationship?  Forget my childish plans, what do I want now?

At this time, this moment, I want to have security, stability, companionship, respect, and of course love.  I think I could be perfectly happy in a relationship where we each had our own projects, our own goals and things to do, but we acted as a mutual support to the other.  I don't want one person to be my life.  By this point, I've lived on my own long enough to have become independent and sort of set in my ways, so I want the freedom to be me, with the security of knowing that someone is there with me to enjoy life, love me, and be there when I really need them.  As long as two people work on their relationship and can agree to the terms, I don't think I'd mind being second.

Yes, I can see it—husband off filming movies while I dig into my writing, welding and other hobbies.  We enjoy time together in between, and of course communicate regularly when apart.  Hmm, I rather think it could work!

So, Jeremy if you're reading this, I'd give it a shot...just give me a call!


Thursday, May 31, 2012

Long Weekend

Well, my long holiday weekend was long, for certain!

I took Friday off since last week was the only week this month I could take vacation, and I thought I would have a nice relaxing weekend and really dig into this story that's been tumbling around in my head.  Mom took Friday off, so we just kinda bummed around and didn't do anything serious.  Saturday we slept in and then mom had to go to work in the early afternoon.  Ok, I thought, here's my chance to put some meat on the bones of this story.  I didn't get right into it, I took my time getting dressed and such and then checked my email and facebook.  Then I decided I would watch a little bit of Neo Ned while I finally ate a sandwich.  Somewhere not too far in to the movie, my aunt Joy called and said that my grandpa was bringing my grandma up to the ER with chest pains.

Needless to say, I dropped everything and went to the ER where I sat with Grandpa for nigh on 6 hours.

All is well, however!  It turned out to be diverticulitisan infection in her intestines.  She's on antibiotics and should be fine.

WHEW!

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