Cripple

Sooooo, I've always had lousy ankles.  I've sprained both of them, and they pretty much don't work right.  My right ankle has hurt my entire life--well for as long as I can remember--and I simply learned how to deal with it.  However, two years ago I took a motorcycle rider education course through the college where I work and, clumsy me, almost first thing I dumped the bike.

It turned out to be a blessing in disguise because my right foot was smooshed by the motorcycle, and I went to the podiatrist once, and three months later when my foot still hurt I went back.  They took an X-ray of my foot to make sure there were no fractures, but when I was there I had the foresight to ask him why I had such limited mobility in that ankle.

Well, he whipped out my X-ray and said that I had an extra bone in my ankle that physically blocked me from pointing my foot.  After some research I found that this extra bone is called an os trigonum and only between 2 & 7% people have them.

They are something with which you are born, and for most people, other than athletes or ballet dancers, they cause no trouble.  However, I am so lucky, that not only do I have one, but I have a huge one!  (I truly believe that my wisdom teeth which never developed all went to my ankle...)

I asked the doctor if I could have it removed and he said perhaps if I were a teenager, but insinuated that 30 was already too old, though he informed me that I had three bone spurs already and that my ankle would only get worse with time.

Well, unwilling to swallow that load of bollocks, I went to the podiatrist who used to be here in town, (now an orthopedic surgeon with a very good reputation) to ask for a second opinion.  When I told him that doctor #1 had informed me I was too old, he went on and on about how ridiculous that was.  He gave me a shot to help with the inflammation and told me we could do surgery any time.

Tomorrow I am going to talk to him about having my pain in the ankle removed.

See the blob right above the heel bone...that's my os trigonum.

This is the average size of an os trigonum.

So, we'll see what he says tomorrow: How much will it cost, how long is the recovery...

The Big 3-0

No, I'm not turning thirty.


No, the big 3-0 age-wise came two years ago.  This is a 3-0 of a different color.


Weight Watchers has been going really well.  I really don't know what all the fuss was about before--somehow this time everything has just fallen into place.  I've been really good at abiding by my points, and for the most part, I've been eating a good balance of protein, carbs, and fruits & veg.  I've been having snacks, I've been able to divide bags of pretzels or sweets into portions and eat only the portion. I've not excluded anything.  I eat cake, candy, chips, pizza...all in moderation.  I even find space for the occasional glass of wine or beer.

As of two weeks ago, fifteen weeks after starting Weight Watchers, I had lost 30 pounds!  I had to order some new pants, two sizes smaller, I might add, because the pants I had been wearing were just too baggy and wouldn't stay up.  At the same time I am completely amazed at myself, and utterly thrilled, I feel like things in my life are starting to fall into place.  I know it sounds a little funny for a nearly 32 year old woman to say this, but I feel like I am finally growing up, finally becoming my own woman...and I love it!

Anyone who knows me very well knows that I am far from being a patient person, and I tend to spaz out about things, but for the first time in my life and can look and see that lots of the things I've been waiting for are happening!  I have a couple really awesome friends, without whom I would be completely lost, I am stable and mostly satisfied in my job, I have plans to better myself (education wise), and I am actually doing some of the things which I want to do.  And for the first time I feel that not only do I have a best friend, but that I am someone else's best friend.  I cannot even start to tell you how awesome that feels.

Add to my awesome besties a few really supportive and super awesome family members, and I feel, to be cliché, like I could fly.  My friends and family, and also my awesome counselor, are helping me to not only  figure out who I am, but to feel free, more like give myself permission, to be whoever it is I decide to be.

I am thinking about me!  I am deciding not what is best for others, but what is best for me!

I also decided that I spent too long blindly following and that I need to look at things such as education, religion, politics, morals and to analyze them and decide for myself how to think and what to believe.  My art teacher, whom I adore and has been like a mentor to me, used to say that he didn't want cookie cutter art--well I am no longer a cookie cutter person!  I am an original and I want to be an original.

So, on this fairly beautiful, if slightly chilly, day I am sitting on the porch with my laptop and a glass of wine, working on my novel and feeling pretty darn satisfied.

Aaaah....