Saturday, October 1, 2016

Getting Back In The Saddle

Well, things have been rough for a long time, and I felt like I had really fallen off the horse.

Of course, part of it is the fact that I lost my job, I can't afford all of my medications now that I have no insurance, and I have new health issues that have appeared this year. And it is difficult to eat well when you are driving back and forth across three states every few days. But, I feel like I really let life get the best of me.

I had a few days where I could feel depression coming over me like a cloud. All I wanted to do was sleep, I wasn't feeling well for over a week, and I was just really bummed that I can't find a job, about my weight, and I was really missing Alex. I felt like moving to Colorado was supposed to be a fresh start and it was turning into the same old crap.

But, at long last, mom and I, all our things, and both our cars are in one place!!

I keep telling myself that things aren't going to be this bleak forever and that I just need to get back in the saddle. Developing a routine will help me get some normalcy in my life. Eating better will also help me feel better, and will hopefully lead to losing weight, which will make me feel better about myself.

While I can't control when I get a job, I have plans to build my skills in other ways. I'm hoping to do some volunteering that will help me get some experience in areas where I lack. I would love to get some experience in cataloging, archives, or maybe at a museum, so that's what I'm going to try for.

I started to make small steps, putting a few things away here, cleaning a little there, buying some organizational things, etc., and it started to help me pull out of the funk. I also found my CPAP and started using it, which is helping my energy levels greatly!

And the biggest boost was receiving a text message out of the blue from Alex!

We hadn't been able to text back and forth for months because of some unknown problem, but last Tuesday I got a text and was super excited. I couldn't text back at first, but then the next day we got it all figured out and for five days we texted like two teenagers. It was great. It really boosted my mood.

So, while I occasionally have moments of anger, disappointment, hopelessness, etc., I think I am finally finding my stride.

Oh! And I decided to join WeightWatchers again, so I'm hoping that I'll start losing weight again, which will help in many ways.

I'm still a little bruised from falling out of the saddle, but I'm not going to let it keep me down!


*I'm kinda obsessed with my new bitmoji...


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