Sunday, June 2, 2013

The Big 3-0

No, I'm not turning thirty.

No, the big 3-0 age-wise came two years ago.  This is a 3-0 of a different color.

Weight Watchers has been going really well.  I really don't know what all the fuss was about before--somehow this time everything has just fallen into place.  I've been really good at abiding by my points, and for the most part, I've been eating a good balance of protein, carbs, and fruits & veg.  I've been having snacks, I've been able to divide bags of pretzels or sweets into portions and eat only the portion. I've not excluded anything.  I eat cake, candy, chips, pizza...all in moderation.  I even find space for the occasional glass of wine or beer.

As of two weeks ago, fifteen weeks after starting Weight Watchers, I had lost 30 pounds!  I had to order some new pants, two sizes smaller, I might add, because the pants I had been wearing were just too baggy and wouldn't stay up.  At the same time I am completely amazed at myself, and utterly thrilled, I feel like things in my life are starting to fall into place.  I know it sounds a little funny for a nearly 32 year old woman to say this, but I feel like I am finally growing up, finally becoming my own woman...and I love it!

Anyone who knows me very well knows that I am far from being a patient person, and I tend to spaz out about things, but for the first time in my life and can look and see that lots of the things I've been waiting for are happening!  I have a couple really awesome friends, without whom I would be completely lost, I am stable and mostly satisfied in my job, I have plans to better myself (education wise), and I am actually doing some of the things which I want to do.  And for the first time I feel that not only do I have a best friend, but that I am someone else's best friend.  I cannot even start to tell you how awesome that feels.

Add to my awesome besties a few really supportive and super awesome family members, and I feel, to be cliché, like I could fly.  My friends and family, and also my awesome counselor, are helping me to not only  figure out who I am, but to feel free, more like give myself permission, to be whoever it is I decide to be.

I am thinking about me!  I am deciding not what is best for others, but what is best for me!

I also decided that I spent too long blindly following and that I need to look at things such as education, religion, politics, morals and to analyze them and decide for myself how to think and what to believe.  My art teacher, whom I adore and has been like a mentor to me, used to say that he didn't want cookie cutter art--well I am no longer a cookie cutter person!  I am an original and I want to be an original.

So, on this fairly beautiful, if slightly chilly, day I am sitting on the porch with my laptop and a glass of wine, working on my novel and feeling pretty darn satisfied.



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