Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Working to avoid work and other distractions...

After a seven day (workday) holiday, Monday it was back to reality.  Well, not completely.  The library has been pretty darn quiet this week, and other than making a few ID cards, I've been pretty much able to work on whatever I feel like and actually get it done.  Yes, it was hard to come back to work, but I'm glad in a way.  The holidays were really a downer for me this year.  I was home, by myself and kept checking facebook and email incessantly!!!!  There was no email (very little), no posts on facebook...I just kept looking, and checking, and searching for random things...longing for some random comment on a three year old photo.  Ha!  As if no one else has a life just because I don't!  Yes, other people were hanging out with families and having a good time, they were not staring at their computer screens with a sad, longing look on their faces.  (I finally forced myself to have a no technology day.)

The first two days back at work I did ok, but still checked my email a lot.  Today,  however, was liberating!  At least at first.  I went to work and all day long I had people coming in asking me to do stuff for them.  It was great!  It was mostly mindless work, alphabetizing, dubbing VHS onto DVD, and it kept me occupied without having to do any of my normal duties (of which there are not a ton to do at the mo).  My mind did not wander to my emails, and I felt a great sense of accomplishment, and was happy to be so helpful to my co-workers.

I stayed positive today, for the most part.  I may have had a few moments...but this evening, I am wavering.  I came home and got on my social network sites while I waited for dinner and suddenly became rather down.  I've had numerous friends who have been "singles" as well as me, and now I see that they are mostly engaged or in relationships.  I know I should not compare my life to theirs, but dang!  (And I should be more happy for them.)  Most of them are a fair bit younger than me, and, well, what more do I have to's just not fair.  So, this proves to me that while I do not feel ready for the semester to start and am frankly very nervous to start teaching Elementary Russian, I really need to get back into the busyness of community college life in order to keep myself preoccupied and out of my email inbox, longing for something that may never come.

Boss is back tomorrow, so I shall have to really dig in to my regularly scheduled duties.  Work, work,, don't click that inbox!

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