Well, I didn't just fall off the bandwagon, I fell off, tumbled in the most ungraceful way possible, and landed in the mud.
Ever since coming back from overseas, I have been trying to get back on, but I was just struggling so much. Previously, I decided to do it and I did it, but this time I just couldn't follow through. I was thinking about it the other day and trying to figure out why I was struggling so much to get back in control.
It occurred to me, that even though I tried very hard to not have any expectations when I went overseas, that was a great motivator. Maybe the let down from feeling rejected didn't help. So, I decided that I need to make a list of reasons I need to be healthy, that do not involve other people.
Yesterday, in the spirit of determination to lose the weigh I have gained back since coming home, I prepared a bunch of fresh fruit to bring to work so that when I need to munch, I can do it without guilt. And this morning, I was really on the ball and got to work early to walk the track! (Actually, I woke up at 4:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. And also, the track was locked, so I walked outside.)
So, now, reasons I need to, I want to, be healthy:
Ever since coming back from overseas, I have been trying to get back on, but I was just struggling so much. Previously, I decided to do it and I did it, but this time I just couldn't follow through. I was thinking about it the other day and trying to figure out why I was struggling so much to get back in control.
It occurred to me, that even though I tried very hard to not have any expectations when I went overseas, that was a great motivator. Maybe the let down from feeling rejected didn't help. So, I decided that I need to make a list of reasons I need to be healthy, that do not involve other people.
Yesterday, in the spirit of determination to lose the weigh I have gained back since coming home, I prepared a bunch of fresh fruit to bring to work so that when I need to munch, I can do it without guilt. And this morning, I was really on the ball and got to work early to walk the track! (Actually, I woke up at 4:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. And also, the track was locked, so I walked outside.)
So, now, reasons I need to, I want to, be healthy:
- I want to feel good. I feel like crap when I eat like crap.
- I want to be able to move freely and not get so tired out. I mean, let's face it, getting off the couch should not be that hard.
- I want to be able to walk in a store and find clothes that fit. Especially bras... (And why is it so hard to make fat people clothing cute and stylish?!?!?!?!?!?!? I don't have to look like an old lady, for crying out loud!)
- I don't want to have to worry if I will fit. Will I fit on the airplane? Will I fit in the booth at the restaurant? Will the seat belt fit around me?
- I want to have a family, and I want to be around for that family.
- I don't have any major health issues right now, but I will in the not so distant future...
- I am worth taking care of!
I can do it. I know I can. I have done it, and I can do it again. I just need to focus on what is important, and remember who I am doing this for: me. No one else, just for me.
And now, to leave you with some humor. (If I don't laugh, I would cry.)
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