Sunday, November 1, 2015

Reclaiming Power

This whole getting married thing has made some of my old insecurities pop up. Yes, I know he knows I'm fat. Yes, I know he loves me. There is still something deep inside of me that won't quite let myself believe that fat (for me, does not apply to others) does not mean ugly or not good enough. I just keep trying to overcome it.

I read a post on social media about women who had reclaimed the word fat for their own and taken the power away from others who try to use it as an insult. So, I'm thinking to myself, how do I do that?

The only thing I can come up with is to just start telling myself what I actually am, over and over until I maybe start to believe it. So, here goes. Again.

I am fat, but that does not mean that I am not good enough, that I am worthless or that no one will love me. In fact lots of people love me. And I am more than good enough. So I hereby strip "fat" of all its negativity and chose to see it as only an adjective, and I am so many others:

I am smart.
I am creative.
I am kind.
I am fun.
I am compassionate.
I am spunky.
I am beautiful.
I am awesome.

I am me, and the only one I need to please is myself.

My body may not be what I want it to be, but I can change that. It doesn't make me any less of a person.

So, this will be an interesting time in the near future. Learning not only to love myself, but learning to let someone else love me as well.

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