Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Looking Forward

Oh man, I have not written a blog post for such a long time. Well, nothing like starting another new year by looking back, and then looking forward.

There was a lot of great stuff in 2018, and there was a lot of tough stuff. The year started out great--I was celebrating the 100 pound weight loss in 2017 and just feeling great in general. But, near the end of January I finally realized that my "relationship" was going nowhere and ended. I was more pissed about having wasted 2.5 years being "engaged" than brokenhearted. That's probably cuz deep down I knew it was over a long time ago. Feeling relieved and empowered, I started to do something that I had never done before...dating.

The day after I decided that it was over with Alex and I, I signed up on a dating app and within a few weeks I was dating. It was scary, but exciting. I was thrilled to know that there were guys out there who found me attractive. At the beginning of summer, I even found pretty much the perfect guy, and even though I tried really hard to keep it casual, I totally fell for him. He ended up moving away, but I'm grateful to him for showing me how I should be treated.

In April I took a wonderful trip to Belgium, Germany and the Netherlands and was able to spend time with old friends, and meet a newer friend for the first time. It was a wonderful time of fun, relaxation, and renewal. And the best part is, while I was gone, I got offered a new job!

It was about this time that things took a little turn for the worse. I started feeling tired, gaining weight even though I was trying hard not to, and as summer went on, the depression and anxiety just got worse and worse. I thought it might be my thyroid, but when we tried meds for that, it was too much. Finally, after talking to my counselor and doctor, we decided to try another medication. And it has been such a huge help.

So, my love life isn't great, the guy that I totally fell for left, and I have gained a lot of weight back, but, I love my job, I love my coworkers, I'm making new friends, and I started a side gig. I have my own bakery!

I don't really believe in resolutions, I don't want to set myself up for failure, but I do believe in having goals. So, 2019, what are we gonna do together?

My wishes for 2019:

  • To continue becoming a stronger, more confident, and healthier me
  • To find ways to cultivate my creative energies and encourage creative growth
  • To grow professionally
  • To read more
  • To treat myself better and not let others treat me poorly
Here'e to a blank slate!

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