I've been talking a lot with Alex lately and we've been talking a lot about the past and the future. It has made me a bit nostalgic, on top of my normal bit of sadness at Christmas. This holiday season is particularly hard, because one year ago right now I was over there with him. If things had gone the way we planned we'd be celebrating our first anniversary now.
It's been tough being apart for the last year, but these past two or three months have been hell. I miss him so much that I feel I might explode. On top of missing Alex, this is our first Christmas in Colorado and I haven't seen most of my family for months, and have no idea when I will see them.
Christmas is on a Sunday this year. That used to be my absolute favorite day for Christmas. I didn't think there was anything better than going to Church on Christmas day. Obviously, things have changed and I no longer go to church, and there is still a lot of hurt there because of the circumstances that led to me leaving the church.
Even though I have a lot of hurt and sadness connected with Christmas, I still love Christmas and have a lot of hope for the future, that it will become magical again for me.
So, my heartfelt wishes for you for a blessed and joyful holiday and many blessings in the new year.
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