Monday, March 13, 2017


Two years ago today I was on my way to see Alex for the first time since he came to see me in Kiev in 2000. I was so excited! The future seemed bright and fantastic. And then I had the week from hell and my heart was broken.

In August, after we'd worked through some things, he asked me to marry him. A year ago I finally had all the paperwork in order and was about to start on his visa process when I was told I was losing my job. (I still harbor some resentment about that.)

Things have been good and continually getting better between us since then, and he's gotten to the point where he can really own up to his problem. He finally decided he didn't want to drink anymore, and then something happened and I haven't heard from him for two weeks.

I've really been wrestling with what to do. At the same time I am seriously concerned about him, seriously pissed off, and completely beside myself. I constantly feel like crying, I just want to shut myself in my room, and I'm having trouble getting to sleep.

I just don't know what to think.

Or do.

I mean, at some point he is going to get in touch with me, right?


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